The wooden boards of the deck of the ship were clean
and newly varnished. As the last glow of the sun disappeared below the horizon,
I sat thinking about what I had started and would complete very soon now. The
trouble it had taken to get on board this ship undetected had been
considerable. It had been good fortune that it was not the coldest part of the
year, though it could only get hotter en route as I travelled further
southwards. My warmer outer clothing would soon be discarded as it had served
its purpose doubling up as a part of my disguise. I had successfully walked
onto the ship past the officers on duty at the boarding stairway as I smiled
hoping that I looked confident. I have known from a long time ago that if I looked
as though I belonged somewhere and gave the appearance of knowing where I was
going then there was a very good chance of not being challenged. I consider
myself quite resourceful and "streetwise" although I wasn't quite so
sure of myself as it appeared. The first part of my plan had gone ahead without
any real problems. All had worked well and I was safely on board with nobody
looking for me. A few close calls, but this was nothing new to me. I was sure I
would be successful as the future depended on it. If I failed? I was not going
to fail and I was determined not to think like that. The forged documents had
worked perfectly though I didn't have any delusions about the outcome. At
least, I think I didn't have any. Maybe the biggest delusion of all would be
expecting to get to where I wanted to go. To reach the final destination. To
win. No. I'd get there. It wasn't a delusion at all and I was sure of that.
I had no problem with doing
what I planned to do. I didn't like the English anyway. Their arrogance and
general self-righteous attitude would irritate me to distraction if I let it
bother me. I didn't allow this as I knew I would soon have the last laugh. It
gave me a tremendous sense of excitement knowing what would happen very soon
now. It may be 2007, but it's
still a war. Time never heals. Weak minded people think it does, but some
things are too important to ever be forgotten or forgiven. I had been told this
much over and over again and it is, of course, true. I know that much. I have
known that since childhood. As an adult, I know the emotive term of terrorist
is made up by governments to justify their actions against people like me. It's
certainly a war and many of the "enemy" have no idea what it is all
about. The beginning is buried in history and conveniently overlooked. One
man's terrorist is another man's patriot and I am a patriot. I am true to my
beliefs and I believe in what I am doing, which is more than I can say about
many of the "enemy". They have no idea what it is all about other than
we are the wicked mindless ones. They go about daily business not really
concerned with important issues and then they pompously sound off about the
opinions of others after they have read them in their newspapers. Or seen and
heard about them on TV. To be true to my convictions is honourable and I know
exactly what I am doing and why I am doing it.
So, I must not be too quiet or
withdrawn as this can bring its own unwelcome attention. I will just go about
my business of becoming accepted and worm my way into any situation that may
bring me advantage. I spoke the English language very fluently with virtually
no detectable accent. I even had the features of a native Englishman and had
been groomed for my mission from a very early age. I would not expect any
problem passing myself off as a native Englishman and I have never encountered
any such problem before. Chatting with my fellow passengers and not being too
aloof could be tricky sometimes, but I was rather good at deflecting questions
with non-answers. I know that most people accept the lack of an answer to their
questions without too much protest. Deflecting a question is a skill I have
developed. Not answering at all is blatantly offensive and there is no need for
that. I might only have had a problem if I had to answer an official question
from a crew member, but as my documents are all in order and I will be dressed
as an officer of the shipping line I should find it all very easy. I must
simply stay out of their way. I may be confident and a little cocky, but I'm
not stupid!
I put on my cap and stood up
without my topcoat to begin my walk around the deck. The time was approaching
when it must get much hotter.
Much hotter.
© Louis Brothnias (2005)